I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
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