The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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