so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
