Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
