We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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