When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
