Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
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