yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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