Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
