therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
