yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
