I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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