Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
