Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
