Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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