my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
