Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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