I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
