I hope mine doesn't look like that
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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