Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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