your room smells of hookers.
And success
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize
