I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
No subtext here. People are naked.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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