Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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