There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
