Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
ok first of all what the fuck
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
