dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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