she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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