Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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