Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
