garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
