Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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