The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
We had sex on a dog bed..
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize