Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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