What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
