I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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