I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Randomize
