I wish I could teleport
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Help. Why am I so naked?
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