walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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