idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
