I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
