Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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