what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
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