There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
