loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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