I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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