i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
it glows. i had to have it.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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