stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Randomize
