i think my tv is drunk
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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