Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize