why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
When did angry sex become our thing?
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize