the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Randomize
