my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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