I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
We just shotgunned beers for America
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
