Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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