Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Michael Bay diarrhea
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
