I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
