All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize
