im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
