I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
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