i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
