sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Randomize
