Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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