when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
