I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
