I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
