i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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