afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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